Over the past months, I've wondered what is, and isn't fodder for my site. I've "gone dark", as it were, because lately, events have come together to remind me that yes - sometimes the real world sucks. It's an odd thing for someone that runs a site and creates a column, it is not in my nature to seal myself off from my community. I've had to accept that sometimes we need a period for reflection; a time to re-evaluate our priorities and our emotional health and get back to the business of being who we are, instead of who others expect us to be.
So, that's what I'm doing. I am setting aside the emotion and separating wants from needs. I am changing the focus of my life from accomplishing new things to mastering the things I've already taken on.
No single accomplishment or acquisition makes us who we are. For many of us, life is one continuous Christmas Eve. "I will be happy once I've lost 15 pounds"; " Everything will be okay once I am married"; "Motherhood will finally make me complete', "When I get that big raise, I can stop worrying."
Its all bullshit, my friends. If we define the value of our lives by what we don't yet have, well, I'm afraid we have nothing BUT tomorrows. And don't get me wrong, tomorrows are great. They're awesome. But tomorrow shouldn't be the date we mark on our calendar to finally get off our asses and make it happen. If you can't love yourself with 15 extra pounds, you are in an f'd up state of mind that isn't going to heal with weight loss. The same goes for the rest of my examples, and I'm guessing any that you can come up with on your own.
The RealWorld sucks sometimes. In fact, I've even found on a number of occasions that it actually blows. But this is the world we have and the life that we've created, and I hate to remind you - In most cases the blame for our unhappy state belongs solely with ourselves. Nothing will change unless you make it change. Things do not get better overnight, and they do not get better with even the longest session of self-pity.
So, get off your ass. Stop complaining. Make the call, send the email, answer the ad, or schedule the appointment. Do whatever it is you've been putting off until tomorrow - and maybe it actually WILL be a brighter day.